It's late and a thought came to me while surfing a few favorite bloggers. Somewhere along the line I forgot to be awesome. I'm sure that comes off a little vain, but it's the truth. Who I was at 18 was wild and free. I jumped into anything creative, fun, daring and never thought twice. I'm sure motherhood, worrying what others thought, bills, and climbing the scrapbook world ladder (it's a real thing) over time are what did me in and that makes me sad. I kinda can't help but think "Where did the fun Heidi go?". I won't say that I'm lost, because I know who I am and I love me. It's that I feel burnt out. I still crave to be creative and I have so many ideas, but never allow myself time to indulge in them. I still love life, but often worry and allow stress to wipe away that amazingly fun 18 year old.
Sure we should all grow up, but does that mean we have to give up who we are to the core? because I'm a dork and always gravitate towards the sunshine. I'm sick of worrying I've done something wrong and stressing over the smallest things. I miss just having fun and breathing in the beautiful moments life gives me daily. I am so darn blessed. I adore my Mr. Sonboul. I have the biggest crushes on my boys and now with a daughter on the way, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
So here's the thing. I have been terrible at blogging, crafting, DIYing, pulling out my camera, having too much fun and just being the real Heidi. Sure I look cute and fun at CHA, but let me be honest and say... Girl, that's been an act! What I mean is, the "now and present Heidi" wears yoga pants all day with no makeup and hair in a bun. YES! I'm even burnt out on fashion and taking care of me.
I want to keep it real and that means I really need a timeout. I miss being creative and just being fun. I'm not running away from life, but I'm going back to the basics and putting life first. With all these ideas flowing in my head I have decided to take a LONG break from the blogging and scrapbook world. When I come back (in maybe 6 months to a year) I'm hoping to be "me" again, because I miss being awesome. I have a list of things I want to do and I am finally allowing myself time to do them and it's about time! So until we meet again, THANK YOU ALL for being so supportive in every thing I've done online. My heart is truly full.